The Battle

Posted: 07/05/2012 by erichblayde in Humour, Life Lessons
Tags: , , ,

Hello again dear readers, it’s a beautifully sunny morning in the fine city of New Westminister and I am peacefully enjoying my coffee and the last remnants of sleepy relaxation on the porch while I prepare myself mentally for the war that is about to commence.

Now most folks finding themselves awakening in the protective confines of suburbia don’t often spend the first hour of their morning preparing for war but we all know my life has not one iota of normal (personally I think its the deadly combination of the pressures of transsexuality and my utter refusal to listen to my internal censor) but this is off the charts even for me. Because this is a true war, this, this is personal

I am talking dear readers, about morning glory.


The Nefarious Morning Glory

This stuff is absolutely insane, it has taken over my parents yard with a vengeance and seeing as how I am staying at my parents for the next week and a half with nothing to do other than take care of my little sister and my ever loving Pop threw me to the proverbial wolves by asking (ever so innocently I might add) whether I would mind mowing the lawn to which I happily agreed, I have entered into a knock down drag out fight (no pun intended, the drag queen in my head actually ran for the hills the moment she saw the infestation) with this ruddy plant. (Yes, in my world one can get into a head to head death match with a plant)

I spent most of yesterday mowing lawns, trimming hedges, and (of course) pulling miles of morning glory off everything in sight. And still, everywhere I look I see this blasted plant! I can’t seem to get it all no matter how many wheelbarrow loads I haul away (the count is 9 at the moment but I am sure that will be much higher very soon)

The wonderful part of all this is the discoveries. So far I have found an assortment of garden tools including a weed-eater and a hand tiller, a weeping tree of some sort that I thought was a compost bin prior to yanking two wheelbarrows of morning glory off its poor back.

So despite the scratches and the sweat and the multiple epithets swallowed with extreme difficulty (due to the presence of little bike riding children) I shall continue this battle. So en garde you foul motherless demon plant. You done messed with the wrong tranny

Who knows, perhaps today I shall find a leprechauns pot of gold (or at the very  least a lawn chair)


Tell The World What You Think

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s