To The Drunken Homophobe At The Gas Station Last Night

Posted: 06/06/2012 by erichblayde in Gay Pride, Human Experience, Queer Rights
Tags: , , , , , ,

3 am, I am standing at the gas station waiting to get a cup of coffee. You roll up in your old beater and stagger to the window with a drunken swagger. Uninvited you start telling me all about your horrible night in this “fucking faggotville” You tell me how you were dancing with some “Bitches, I mean real fuckin lesbo whores” who stole your knife and brass knuckles and “all my money” (this being said as you blindly step past me and push your way to the window yanking a 20 out of your wallet) completely ignoring the fact that some of us have been waiting a while.

You continue your drunken rant trashing MY town merciliously unrecognizing of the fact that my silence is not born of rapt attention but rather utter disgust, and continue repeatedly putting down the “lesbo bitches that just need a good thick dick” My spine is already stiff with rage and my mind idly turning over the way this conversation would be going if I was not on duty at that moment when you really hit a raw nerve. Returning to the subject of your lost weaponry and secure in the knowledge that I must hate “faggots” as much as you, you tell me how, if you had still had it you would have used it to “fucking show the 6 faggots that were trying to suck my dick whats us straight guys can do” Idly I ponder taking off my uniform shirt and showing you what one faggot can do when angry enough. Uninhibitedly you continue loudly trashing “fucking fags” who approached you and telling me “I hate this place (Nanaimo) there nothing but whores and faggots in this town” Furious now I manage to calmly walk away before I do anything stupid hearing your voice echo for two blocks as you rant to the clerk about “those sick fucking faggots” and I wonder to myself how you would feel to find out you had been ranting about fags and lesbos to a queer activist and self professed big ol homo.

Walking away my mind reels from the onslaught of hate I have just experienced and I feel like crying. Where do we, the queer activists of the world, find the evidence to say that the battle of gay rights has been won in our favor. Where did this idea come into being that being gay is now safe and accepted? Sure, queers in the big cities have won battle after battle, have carved out comfortable niches for themselves where, most of the time, they are safe from prejudice, safe to walk the streets (in the “gay” sections of town at least) hand in hand with their partner of choice and so the battle has been won?

There are many queer activists in small towns who do still call out to our counterparts in the big cities, who try to communicate the plight we face, but our cries fall on deaf ears, our plight is not reported in the small town news papers and we are often too far from a large city for their news to pick up the cry. So where now do we go? Where does this battle leave us? For some it ends in the worst way, they become just another statistic to a small town cop who is never too concerned, others bear their plight in silence stoically accepting that the time simply has not come.

And I? I become angry. 10 years I fought in the big city to help achieve gay rights. 10 years of my life I dedicated to education and promoting tolerance, and yet, despite this, nothing seems to work. Despite this I am still forced to listen to the rantings of a homophobic lunatic without a chance to fight back because society forbids it, because society says that words cannot possibly amount to the damage of physical blows. To society I say this “try facing it and then tell me words do not hurt” To the small town queers I say “Enough. It is time to fix this problem once and for all. It is time to fight back in anyway that is effective and stand our ground”

And to the small minded ignorant homophobe from last night I say nothing, for you will see the light some day and that realization shall be all the words needed.


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