On Butterflies and Negativity

Posted: 06/06/2012 by erichblayde in Acceptance, Friends, Human Experience, Life Lessons, Self Help, Strength
Tags: , , , , ,

Yesterday evening I was having a conversation with a good friend when something rather interesting came up. My friend commented on how they felt sad for me that I choose to see so much of the negative in life and do not choose to focus on the positive. I replied that, in fact I am aware of the positive in my life, but no, I do not focus on those things. I do this because to me, it’s all fuel for the fire. The positive is just so much easier to process that it often falls to the wayside. The negative is a stronger fuel for my inner fire, but it also takes a lot more effort to process. The conversation continued amiably enough past this point, and I thought the matter done until I awoke this morning.

Whilst consuming my morning pot of coffee my mind wandered back to the conversation of the night before and idly I turned over the possibilities in my mind. Am I indeed focused too much on the negative? Do I ignore the positive side and by doing so, devalue it? Should I consider changing everything about the way I function in the world?

The answer I have arrived at, is no to all of the above. Yes I see the negatives in life far more clearly than the positives, but I am not focused too much upon them. No, I do not ignore the positive side of life totally and no I do not devalue the positive by working with the negative. And no, I will not force myself to change everything about the way I function in order to conform to a more widely utilized way of interaction.

This is not to say that my friend is in the wrong for their views, nor does it automatically mean that I am a stubborn thick head who will eventually realize his erroneous ways. It means that we are both different from each other. What I find so fascinating though, and the reason I am now writing this as an exemplar is that my friend and I are so close, despite the fundamental differences in world views this conversation between us so graphically illustrates.

So my thoughts on the matter are this. Why not look at your own life in this context? Why not, rather than striving to change things to conform with the societal normalcy, accept that sometimes we are radically different from each other. Why not seek out your opposite number and create something amazing? We all know what strength opposing magnets can have; why not seek that strength within yourself and that amazing connection to another?

Life is not all doom and gloom, we all know that, but, in my own opinion, the gloom has its place. Rather than living in a world filled only with happy butterflies I choose to live in a worldview that does not discount the many birds that would snatch up those pretty butterflies from where they sit and rip their wings off for a light snack. Yes living in that mindset does cause one a good deal of stress at times, and yes having made the choice to see the negative does make me a far more serious and reserved individual than I might have been if I ignored those nasty birds. However, the butterflies would have no defenders if we all chose to ignore the birds. It’s not an easy pace to keep some days, but in a system of checks and balances such as life is, those of us who choose to live this way are needed, and are valuable. Not saying I’m a fabulous martyr for the cause or any type of shit like that. Just saying that I know I have a different outlook than most, I accept that and I’m proud to be that way today.

Now back to my terrified, cowering little butterflies 😉

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