Come Out Come Out Wherever You Are

Posted: 06/06/2012 by erichblayde in Coming Out, Friends, Gay Pride, It Gets Better, Queer Rights
Tags: , , , ,

Alright, yesterday’s post was of the “painfully honest” variety (I do those from time to time at random intervals, sorry…wait, no I’m not, it’s my damn blog!) but today it’s back to your regularly scheduled sordid samples of somewhat sarcastic serendipity.

This time I seem to be surrounded by popping closet doors.

Now, first and FORMOST do NOT for one instant believe in your little heads dear readers that I am even REMOTELY bitching about the young ones uncloseting themselves to me. Oh no, quite the opposite, I find it truly delightful. It’s just that they do it in the cutest ways and I never seem to be prepared when they do it! Thus we are left with a freshly minted GBLT youngster flopping around in confusion on the proverbial poop deck while Uncle Blayde gets a face full of mainsail to eat because he wasn’t paying attention to the signs and signals of the sexuality sea surrounding him and now has to scramble to find the right words/dodge the angry parent who thinks it’s good old Unkie Blayde’s fault (Even though I did NOT do it or convince/coerce the youngster out of the closet and I am actually serious this time :D).

I love love love it when I see the youngsters coming out and standing tall in their sexuality. And lately this is seemingly happening around me rather a lot. Perhaps however a few tips are in order to avoid giving all us grumpy old queers heart attacks.

So with all that being said, I speak now, newly emerging members of the GBLT community, directly to you. Please know that this post is not meant as insult, nor is it said in jest.

(And yes I have personally witnessed every one of the calamities that spawned these tips)

Erich Blayde’s List of Dos and Don’ts for the “Big Reveal”

1) Do warn the person whom you invite over to support you in your time of need, of the reason for the invitation before you break the news to your fundamentalist religious family. (If you plan to tell your father that so and so sitting right there is “teaching me to be gay” it’s nice for the so and so to have foreknowledge of the statement and a head start on the father **Note** After warning supporter say it LOUD and PROUD baby!)

2) Do tell your family before you do something extremely gay on the national evening newscast (Or warn the person who is dropping you off after the gay event, with whom you did the extremely gay thing, that your family watches the news and your father owns a baseball bat **Note** After telling family, the evening news is completely fair game)

3) Do not under any circumstances come out of the closet by showing up to your work dressed as drag queen without first warning your supervisor! (It makes us drop our coffee **Note** After warning supervisor of desired dress code – go right the hell ahead and show up how you want) 

4) Do come out loud and proud (Telling your cat you are gay for a year does not mean that we all got the memo or that the cat will tell your parents **Note** Asking someone else to help the cat tattle is absolutely allowed) 

5) Do NOT be afraid. (NEVER!!! **Note** Never ever ever!)

6) Do lean on your supporters (and dump the jerks that tell you what you’re doing is wrong **Note** A swift kick in the rump of said jerk is always acceptable and often very self-empowering) 

Know that it gets better.

Way back when, we were all as young and scared as you are now. Way back when we all had our mishaps, false starts, and embarrassments. Way back when we were as clueless and floundering as you feel today.

But now, now we have a rich and vibrant history. We have our Harvey Milks, our Jane Rules and our Kate Bornstiens. And so too we have our Brandon Tennas, our Matthew Shepards and our Gwen Araujos. There have been beautiful victories and bitter defeats, utter triumphs and heart wrenching sorrows. But through it all we have survived. Through it all we have flourished.

And it was all worth it.

For all the pain, the tears, the loneliness, for all the fighting and the unfulfilled dreams of so many, now we have you. And trust me young one, you’re worth it.

You don’t have to be perfect right now, stumble if you have to. Hold on to us when you want to. Use us now young darling, while you need us.

One day you will learn to fly.

  1. Great blog. Funny too. 😉

  2. Thank you for mentioning Kate Bornstein. And-

    Model useful attitudes. So, not “I have a confession to make” but “I am gay. I am being honest, I am accepting myself as I truly am, I am becoming Free, isn’t it Wonderful!”

    • erichblayde says:


      Kate Bornstein is one of the role models for my life 🙂 No way I was going to leave her out. And thank you for raising a very valid point, it is important to have confidence when coming out

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